


"Through all the things my eyes have seen; The best by far is you"

by cptnpantsuit



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, angst??? maybe?? a little??? idk, i cried while writing it, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-06-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cptnpantsuit/pseuds/cptnpantsuit
Summary: Post 5x11. Sara is permanently blind and she feels likesuch a failure.Ava is the only one she cares about, but she can't see her and she just wants to do it one last time.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Kudos: 68





	"Through all the things my eyes have seen; The best by far is you"

**Author's Note:**

> heyyy i wrote this a while ago like a day after i watched 5x11 sO it's old  
> but i actually like this a lot soooo
> 
> title from cecilia and the satellite by andrew mcmahon in the wilderness

It’s Saturday, and Sara has promised Ava she is going to rest; but she’s in the Waverider’s cargo bay, kicking a punching bag.

Ever since Gary brought his hellhound to the ship and Gideon told the captain that her blindness is permanent, Sara had kept herself busy, learning to recognize her teammates from the way they breathe and walk, barely taking any breaks; the most important of them to her was Ava.

She spent hours learning how to recognize the pace Ava walked in when she was tired and when she was sad, she measured the pace of Ava’s steps and soon enough she could easily recognize when Ava wanted to rest or when she was upset or when she was just... horny. 

She wanted to make sure that everything she used to know by Ava’s face expressions she could understand as easily without seeing her.

“Captain Lance-” Gideon’s robotic voice echoes in the room and Sara swears that ever since she went blind Gideon’s accent became stronger. She feels her head spinning and leans against the cargo bay’s walls, as Gideon continues talking- “Ava is waiting for you on the-”

“Bridge, I know.”

“Of course you know.”

Sara kicks the bag again and starts walking to the bridge.

Ever since she's lost her sight permanently she's been really stressed around the Legends and she's starting to think that something is really wrong with her. 

When she gets to the bridge she can hear Ava whispering something to one of their team members and them walking to the hallway which leads to the bed chambers.

Ava had just finished running with Nate over the notes she had on their last mission and when he leaves she leans against the table in the Captain's parlour. She's tired, but she lightens when she sees Sara approaching her and easily navigating alone through the waverider, her grey blindfold covering her majestic blue eyes that Ava misses dearly.

Sara is wearing black tights and a grey sports bra and her hair is messy and a little wet from sweat, and even though Ava is happy seeing her girlfriend walking alone easily, she frowns when she notices Sara's outfit, knowing she must've trained again, even though she promised she'd rest.

Ava wants to comment on that, but before she manages to, Sara asks, "Was that Nate?" and smiles softly, standing with her face a little too much to the left instead of directly at Ava, which for some reason makes Ava crack a soft smile.

Ava nods, answering her girlfriend’s question, but then looks down with her cheeks turning red as she remembers Sara can't see her.

"Yes, you're getting better at that."

She can't tell if Sara recognized Nate from his squeaky voice or if she's had a vision of him before showing on the bridge, but she's proud of Sara being able to know her way around the ship and do all the things she used to even without her being able to see a thing.

Sara walks closer to Ava, putting her hands on her tall girlfriend’s waist. She feels Ava's hands guiding hers to the place she meant to touch and how Ava's getting soft at the touch once it’s in the right place. Sara lets out an uncomfortable chuckle and pulls Ava closer.

“I could recognize these dummies without looking even before I went blind,” she says with a cynical tone that makes Ava laugh.

“Of course you could,” she whispers and kisses Sara’s neck, “you’re Sara Lance.”

Sara smiles and with her free hand she looks for the tall girl’s cheek. When she can feel Ava’s soft skin she pulls her even closer and kisses her softly.

With Sara’s hand now on her shoulder Ava says, “You need to shower.” She moves a stroke of hair from Sara’s sweaty face. “I thought we agreed you’d rest today?”

“You agreed, babe.” 

Ava smiles and laughs, “Just go take a shower.”

“Aye aye, captain.” Sara salutes, still standing with her face too much to the left and Ava laughs again. 

Sara can be so goofy and Ava loves it so much. She loves everything about Sara  _ so much. _

The sound of Ava’s laugh became one of Sara’s favorite things and she really learned to appreciate it; she can’t see Ava smiling or see when she’s sad, she can’t see her face when she’s worried or when she rolls her eyes when Gary boards the ship; but she can hear Ava’s laugh- The reassurance that she’s happy and that she likes what she hears.

For about two weeks every time Ava laughed Sara felt her heart skip a beat, and It became her favorite feeling.

Ava’s laugh is short and sweet and when she’s done she kisses Sara’s cheek, holds her hand and helps her to the Waverider’s only bathroom.

Sara lays her head on Ava’s shoulder while they are walking and by the pace of Ava’s walking in… Sara expects a long night.

***

Sara gets out of the shower and wrapps her blonde hair in a white towel. She feels a little dizzy and her head is spinning and she leans on the closest wall to relax, and then–

_ Ava is laying on the floor. _

–her breath gets heavy and she's looking for something to lean on that won't give her any visions, but everything is scary and she can't see the room and she doesn't know what to look out from . Then, she hears a knock on the bathroom's door and Ava asks her if she's doing okay. Sara doesn't answer.

"Sara?"

"I'm okay, I'm okay…" Sara mumbles, "Go back to bed."

She hears a few steps and guesses that Ava left, but instead of going to their bedroom herself, she stays in the room for a few more minutes and regulates her no-longer-heavy breath. She washes her face with cold water and hangs the towel that dried her hair and leaves the room.

Her head is still spinning and she doesn't know what to do.

Ava is sitting on their bed and reads a book, and when Sara walks in she can hear Ava breathing and the pages of the book slightly moving from the cool wind the Waverider's cooling system produces. She can't help herself from smiling, seeing the perfectly peaceful image in her mind: Ava, cuddled in a bunch of blankets, quietly reading a book and wearing her soft pyjamas… All Sara wants is to see her girlfriend peacefully, like that. One last time.

"Sara! I didn't see you coming in!" Ava says, when she finally notices Sara, and puts the book she was reading on the bed. Sara can  _ hear  _ the smile in Ava's voice.

Ava walks up to Sara, who doesn't move from when she stands, she can hear Ava’s steps and then she can feel her girlfriend's hands wrapped around her in a big, tight hug. Sara smiles.

"What's that for?"

"Nothing. I just love you, is it bad?"

“No. It’s great.” Sara smiles and rubs Ava's back–

_ Ava is on the floor again, her eyes are open and Sara looks at her from above. _

–she lets go of the hug and starts to go back to the bed, but before she takes more than one step, Sara stops her.

Sara grabs Ava’s hand before she can walk away, but Ava doesn't notice the brief touch and continues to walk and pretty soon they're both on the floor.

Sara's heart is pounding strongly, but Ava is laughing, and she hugs Sara while they're both sitting on the cold metal floor and Sara feels safe again. She feels  _ home. _

"Why did you stop me?" Ava asks after she's done laughing. Sara is quiet but she breathes heavily, so Ava takes her hand and massages it, trying to calm her jumpy girlfriend down.

After a few quiet seconds Sara tells Ava that she saw her laying on the bedroom's floor.

"I didn't see anything else," Sara says and strokes Ava’s cheek. "We're both okay, right?"

"Right," Ava reassures after she checks again that they're both okay. She gets up and helps Sara up as well, she leads her to their bed and helps her cover herself with the blanket, ignoring Sara's calls of protests saying she can do it on her own and that she's not even cold.

Sara can hear Ava's slow and quiet breaths as she walks closer to her and feels Ava's fingers looking for hers; she can feel Ava's weight on the mattress and smell the intoxicating scent of her hair. But she can’t see her, and it's frustrating.

"Babe?" Ava can swear Sara's voice is trembling when she says, "I'm sorry I'm… like this."

She doesn't know how to react, she doesn't even understand what her girlfriend is trying to say.

What is Sara sorry about? She's amazing. She tells Sara exactly that, but Sara laughs, "No."

"No?"

"No, I'm not amazing," Sara's voice is trembling again and she buries her face in the palms of her hands. "I'm a failure."

Ava doesn't say anything, she just hugs Sara tightly and strokes her hair, trying to calm her girlfriend down. And also calm herself down.

She holds Sara’s fragile body closer and tries to fight her own tears.

“You’re not a failure, Sara. You’re not.” She repeats that a few times and reminds herself that she has no reason to cry- nothing has happened to her, it's Sara who needs help.

So why is she crying?

Sara can feel Ava’s tears on her back as they hug.

“Baby, no… Don’t cry,” she mumbles and wipes Ava’s warm tears, as gentle as she ever was.

With her hands cupping Ava’s cheeks she kisses her and whispers in her ear that everything is okay. They both need to hear that.  _ Everything is okay. _

When Ava looks at Sara again she can see dark stains on her blindfold, and Ava can't help herself from smiling through her own tears. “Since when do you cry, Lance?” she asks in a shaky voice that aims to be steady, her eyes getting wet again from tears.

Sara laughs and kisses Ava’s cheek.

“I don’t.”

“Of course you don’t.”

It’s quiet again and this time Ava breaks the silence by saying, “You are  _ not  _ a failure.”

Sara shakes her head. She’s trying to agree, but in her heart she feels like the world’s biggest failure. She feels like she’s disappointing herself and her team… and Ava.

“Sara?”

She leans her head against Ava's shoulder without answering.

"You're not a failure." Ava says again in a more confident tone and pulls Sara closer. She breathes in the scent of Sara’s shampoo and hugs her again before asking her why she even dares to think she is  _ somehow close  _ to being a failure.

Without moving away from the hug and without moving a single muscle Sara whispers, “I’m blind, Ava. Something’s wrong with me, and not even Gideon can fix it.”

“Sara…”

“Something is wrong with me. It has been _ two weeks _ and I can only see you in these horrible future flashes, in which you are usually on the floor fighting your last breaths...” Sara breathes out in a small voice and Ava grabs her hand. “Something is wrong Ava, and no one can't fix it. I don’t know what to do.”

“Sara, hey… I’m here for you and I love you, no matter if you can or cannot see me.” Ava strokes her girlfriend’s hair with her free hand and calms her down. “I love you, Sara. Okay?” 

Sara nods quietly, tightening her grip to Ava’s hand and fighting off another set of tears.

“I’m here for you baby, always,” she says and pulls Sara into a soft hug. “Don’t you ever dare _ thinking  _ you're a failure, or that you’re useless, or anything. Because you’re not. You’re Sara lance, and you’re amazing. You’re amazing and strong and so, so beautiful,” she cups her girlfriend’s cheek. “And I love you, Sara. With everything in me. I love you.”

Ava can feel Sara’s heartbeats gets slower and Sara herself calms down and melts to her arms, and to calm Sara down just a little more she adds to her speech: 

“You saw Atropos’ OG form and survived, you’re a badass Sara.”

Sara smiles and holds off a laugh, “Ava?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed xxx


End file.
